Professing * Reflecting

Tuesday, July 25, 2006


The sun came out and my energy returned. Although I am not exactly rocking and rolling through the article revisions (because I am stopping to do very important, necessary, before I can do anything I must absolutely do this things like filing all of my stuff from last semester), I am getting them done. The work just never ends, does it? I keep waiting for this "And now, I can relax!" moment and I am slowly realizing it's not going to happen, at least not in the way I have been thinking it would.

After the revisions are completed, there is a course to plan and readings to choose so that I can make a course packet and order books. This is a class I have taught before but am revamping into an upper-level course with a slightly different focus. Looks like at this point I will be doing a significant amount of crapping it together. If I am experienced in anything, however, it is in developing new courses (astonishingly, this will be #15 since I have been in this job) so I am not terribly worried. But then there's a revise and resubmit, a panel proposal to get on the listserv, blah blah blah. Neverending, really. It is all stuff I want to do, but I am seriously feeling like I need a breather before the school year begins.

In the midst of all of this, I have been in regular communication between The Boy (my recent ex-boyfriend) whose angst, which has always been a problem, is now positively oozing from his pores. This has earned him the new pseudonym of Long-Suffering Boy. I am getting Very Serious emails and voice-mail messages from him in which he has Very Serious Concerns about a variety of Very Serious Issues. And of course these Very Serious Issues have nothing to do with anything of actual concern but with how unfairly life is treating him. Severe Victim Mentality + Very Weak Sense of Humor = What the Fuck Was I Thinking? I might be a cold-hearted bitch, but I am Very Seriously Fed-up with Long-Suffering Boy. The reasons for this will become clear, I hope, once I figure out how to post about the last year with him.

Providing a stark and rather hilarious contrast are the emails and text messages from my friend from the rock-n-roll circus, who is More Fun Than Fun itself and who therefore will now be called More Fun. He is still trying to convince me to come on the road and is making all kinds of arrangements for that to happen. I may just do this, at least for a few days. I am also thinking about joining my friend Paloma at the seaside home of our adopted parents, My Two Dads. I could even conceivably get some work done there.

So what do I have to complain about, right? Well, now I am stressing about what I might do in my free time as much or more than I am stressing about work. Isn't that sick? I need to change my ideas about work, I think. No, it never will be done, but I can take breaks from it without the sky falling.

Oy. I blame Long-Suffering Boy. He has infected me with the toxic Long-Suffering mindset! Must run far far away!



Post a Comment

<< Home