Professing * Reflecting

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Must get to work

The last thing I want to do is hold myself accountable on the blog, but I think I must. I am pretty sure I have lost an entire week of planned work time. Two whole weeks at the end of the semester to take care of personal, medical, and household projects?? Positively scandalous. Oh, I am forgetting that last week I actually did do the major department project TDC was riding me about. I even submitted it a full week earlier than she had originally asked for it. (She moved up the deadline 10 days at the last minute. Typical.) So my first week off, I went to the dentist, to the eye doctor, started on insane workout plan, and emailed various folks about various research projects. Second week, I did major department project. But, I still have not:
  1. Planned summer class. It is a class I have taught before, but I have never taught it summer-style. This will take some tweaking but will not be terribly too much work. I just want to make sure assignments and readings are perfecto so that it's pretty laid-back for me. I need to do two other research projects while I am teaching it.
  2. Worked on Major Project due to publisher tentatively in June. Work on Major Project involves:
    1. Emailing several people I want to be involved to ask them to be involved, including AB, AE, LE, and KC.
    2. Looking over some guidelines and sample thingies
    3. Deciding on several important details regarding format and content
    4. Emailing some other people
    5. Compiling
    6. Writing
    7. Crossing fingers
    8. Sending
  3. Cleaned out study by: filing this year's course materials, move boxes to basement, move big photo project somewhere, set up sewing machine, cleaning out files, and getting S. to come over for an estimate on finishing shelves.
Did I mention I also have a meeting with TDC (grrrr...), an appointment for a scary medical test (it's nothing, just a c.y.a. thing my doc is making me do), an appointment for a haircut and highlights (ok, this I count as pampering and fun), and a shrink appointment this week? Then there's Insane Workout Plan to work into the schedule every day. Did I also mention that in less than two weeks I may be joining More Fun for a few days here and then a few days with the rock-n-roll circus? Did I mention that three weeks from yesterday I am going to the Deep Red (where work does not happen) for a 16-day visit to my family?

Yes, I conduct my life like an idiot. But how can I not when my life is so idiotic? I am soooo tired of all the pressure, all of the crazy blinding-to-all-else amount of teaching during the year, all of the Summers of Deadlines, all of the family obligations that require me to come to them in the Deep Red for increasingly extended (and irrational, considering my work load) periods of time, and all of the department ridiculousness. I cannot tell you the last time I began a summer not mildly to utterly panicked about the amount of work I have to do. It's not normal. It's no way to live a life. I am in the ninth circle of burnout. I am this close to packing it up and doing something totally different. I feel like I would jump at the first opportunity to do so.

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