Things you might have overheard. . .[redux, upon sober reflection, for those of you who might have missed it]

. . . if you had been hanging near Dr. Medusa for the last 48 hours:

At the bar:

Medusa: "I want my moral value meal!"

Medusa (in response to: "You are not as irresponsible as you think you are."): "I have the restraint of Keith Richards's id."

Medusa (in response to: "Are you Stella Medusa?"): [slurred] "YOU DON'T KNOW ME!"

Medusa (in response to: "Ms. Medusa?"): "I am not a mess! I am a doctor!"

[Editorial comments: All of this is good. Upon sober reflection, I actually believe that I am a brilliant and witty drunk. I know enough about my drunken self, however, to know that things will deteriorate from here.]

In bed, in the night:

Medusa: "I love you. I will always love you. We can't."

Demetrius: "I know. I love you so much. I don't know what else to do. I don't know how else to show . . .sometimes . . . I have to . . ."

Medusa: "Oh. . . . god . . . oh . . . yes."

[Editorial comments: WHAT THE FUCK? I am loath to admit that this is pretty much verbatim dialogue. How the hell did I think that this was incredibly meaningful in the moment of utterance? This is just lame-ass erotica--and only if we can call the content of a Harlequin romance novel "erotica." Does it somehow change when rendered into writing?]

In bed, in the morning:

Medusa/Dem.: "Oh. . . . yes. . . oh . . . god."

Medusa: "11:30? Why? Why?"

Dem.: "Why not?"

Medusa: "Good point."

Dem.: "Does this bed have extra gravity?"

Medusa/Dem.: "Oh . . . oh . . . ohhhh."

[Editorial comments: I actually like this. This is pretty much how it went down. I am not particularly embarrassed to share this.]

On the cell phone, in the afternoon:

Cassio: "This is fucked."

Medusa: "I know you're frustrated, Cassio. This just makes me so anxious. I am understanding less and less what is going on with me."

Cassio: "I understand. I feel rejected, but I understand. What is going on is that you can not feel this emotionally intimate with me or with anyone and be sexual. It is OK. I understand."

Medusa: "Yeah."

[Editorial comments: Oh, the irony. Actually, I have somewhat condensed Cassio's comments. This was the basic gist, but the condensed version makes Cassio sound like some kind of Dr. Philesque automaton. In any case, I am an asshole, because I did not tell Cassio that I can and that I recently did.]

Editor's final comments: The "sober reflection commentary" is actually being composed by a drunk Medusa. A drunk Medusa thinks it is hilarious to compose sober editorial comments from a drunken perspective. Expect a sober Medusa to retract post within 24 hours.


Orignally composed on 11/12/04; redux: 11/15/04.