Professing * Reflecting

Sunday, June 26, 2005

The Cure or Blank Computer Screen?

I am mostly just writing so that I can get the phrase "balls out" off the top of my page. As I commented to Goose, I am confused by my own use of the motivational language of a high-school football coach and by its effectiveness. It was working, but then I had to take advantage of free last-minute front-row seats at a Wilco show and then I had to take advantage of a bassist (not Wilco's, mind you), and . . . well, the writing, it has stalled.

Now I am contemplating taking my friend, Paloma, up on her invitation to hang out at her shore retreat today and tomorrow. It's bloody hot, and I could use "the cure."* My birthday is coming up very soon, and this would be my birthday treat/celebration.

The problem? The article is due very very soon. I only have a few good pages and have lost sight of what it is I actually want to say. I have done all of the research, have close readings (albeit in conference-delivery written form) of most of the primary texts, and an excellent grasp of the theoretical material, including how I want to apply it. I do NOT have and can not find a way to organize the damn thing. My prose--for whatever reason--is absolutely tortured, and my final point is non-existent (in mental or written form). I am blocked, blocked, BLOCKED and seem to spend most of my "writing" time staring at a blank computer screen. I occasionally write a sentence that takes no less than 10 minutes to construct. This has not happened since the dissertation block, which lasted nearly a year.

So do I stay here and face the blank screen, risking the possibility that I will not make any progress at all? Or do I pack a bag and head for the cure? I could take my laptop and spend the evening writing. Would the cure unclog my brain? Would the change of scenery help with the writing? Should I just throw my laptop and possibly myself into the ocean instead?

Urghh. What to do?

*What I call the cold ocean on this particular part of the shore, which I am convinced has magical healing properties.



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