Can't Articulate It Wit' Words

Once upon a time, almost seven (seven!) years ago, Coco and Stella (for they had yet to become Drs. Crazy and Medusa) were hung over. Very, very hung over. Though my memory is fuzzy, I seem to think that we had been to a Halloween party the night before (dressed as whores, of course) and I had slept over at Stella's place. Well, we woke up to a cold and bleak day, but we had Halloween candy. And not only did we have that, but also we had a Real World: Seattle marathon.

There is nothing like a Real World marathon. I know what you're thinking: what can you possibly mean? They show every episode like a million times during the season: who needs a marathon? Well, they don't do them very often anymore, but there is nothing like surrendering to the stupidity of the Beautiful Retards (as Stella and I like to call them), eating candy, and lying around on a futon in one's pajamas.

Now, The Real World:Seattle was a classic season. Here are some of the highlights:

1. The show raised awareness about the plight of those with Lyme Disease.
2. " " featured the first (and to my knowledge last) cast member with one brown eye and one green eye. (Henceforth to be referred to by the nickname, "Brown Eye-Green Eye.")
3. The Angry Black Man who was Slightly Crazy actually hit the Girl with Lyme Disease in the face. This was after the Girl with Lyme Disease called him a "homo."
4. One of the castmates got advice from one of his friends that he should practice the "kill them with kindness" strategy on his housemates. What was brilliant about this is that the response of the Beautiful Retard was "That's good! That's really good! Hold on, let me write that down! What was it again? Kill them with kindness?"

But perhaps the best of all possible moments - the "great scene," if you will, of the season - was when Brown Eye-Green Eye, in one of his little connecting interview thingies, was freaking out about something and ultimately concluded, "I can't articulate it wit' words."

Well, no, Beautiful-Two-Different-Colored-Eyes-Retard, you wouldn't be able to.

But last night, as Stella and I were on the phone, we decided that I should guest-blog for her, because she has entered into some sort of anti-blogging crisis, not unlike the crisis of Brown-Eye-Green-Eye when he couldn't find the language to articulate his existential angst. Stella wants to write - she has things to say - but the words aren't there. And so, under her advisement, I will give you periodic updates on Stella (aka, Dr. Medusa) and I will be her voice in this virtual land. Should be interesting.... but this is enough for today. I have my own blog (and a potential plagiarist) to worry about!