Birthday Resolutions

I obviously can not take a break from computing, so I have fired up The Dinosaur for some birthday reflecting and professing.

I tend to be more serious about making resolutions at birthday time rather than in the dead of winter when all I want to do is bury myself in a hole. My New Year's resolutions tend to be mock the whole process, e.g. "Learn How to Drive Drunk," "Budget for Cocaine," "Adopt Cambodian Baby Named Maddox," "Get Maggie Gyllenhaal's Email Address," etc.

But the birthday has rolled around and I am reflecting on the past year. Professional progress: very good but to the detriment of my mental, physical, social health. Physical health: fair; could become much worse considering smoking, lack of exercise, poor eating habits, weight loss; Mental health: I am not crazy yet, but I am often extremely stressed; short bursts of (circumstantial?) depression. Social health: Portrait of a year in Medusa's relationships--dumped by ex-boyfriend with whom I unwisely became involved with again after break-up two years prior; brief affair with long-time friend, Cassio; ongoing silliness (falling into bed a dozen or so times) with long-time friend, Demetrius; two-month whirlwind romance with The Grand He, chief counsel for Fuckwit, Wanker, and Sons; currently not-dating The Bassist who is also not-dating his best friend; perhaps a one-night stand or two thrown in for good measure (ohhhh, remember Romeo?). Social health diagnosis: borderline retarded.

Some resolutions seem to be in order.

1. Quit smoking, new diet plan (eat something green besides the frosting on St. Patrick's Day cupcakes), resume serious exercise program

2. Work gets done when it gets done and does not prevent me from making plans for travel, family, and friends (i.e. no more "I will think about all of that when the work is done")

3. On a related note: Make actual plans, which is to say IN ADVANCE of more than five minutes or so, for non work-related activities

4. On the relationship note: What can I even say? Grow up? Settle down? Do I want a serious, stable relationship? Hmmmm . . . figure out answer to that question and in the meantime, follow these guidelines:
--Thou shall not fall into bed with Demetrius
--Thou shall not fall under the spell of any associate of Fuckwit, Wanker, and Sons
--Thou shall not play Medusa to The Bassist's Perseus

5. Find a way to control stress, anxiety, and depression (exercise--yes; medication--???)

6. Catch up on long overdue correspondence (and keep it up)

7. Work goals: keep blazing but see #2

8. Finally find a way to avoid pressure from family to visit for 3+ weeks a year, to move to the Deep Red, to quit career "because it is too demanding and you need to have a family" by a) giving up on trying to make them understand; and/or b) explaining tactfully and with love ONE MORE TIME how your life is your life, how it is not flawed because it is not theirs, and how hurtful the constant pressure is

9. Possibly change identity and move to Peru